End of january 2012…

Thanks too an EEG on my request, I’ve just learnt that my right temporal lobe is slowed down for as much as 75% (hence my left hand being amazingly slow), whereas my whole left brain is sped up to a booming 150 percent or more (allowing me to muscle-learn a lot, and at a ultra-fast, face-melting pace).

The two lobes always function at the same time, instead of taking turns like a “normal” brain does. It’s not the common pattern with an alternating activity, in other words. It is exhausting. I last 8-10 hours a day, then fall asleep.

It also explains why I’m struggling to sync left and right. Right now, I’m really uneven in doing something as basic as a single stroke snare roll. RLRLRLRLR…fuckin’ L !
It ends up being jazzy.

I can’t fight it. I tried to, but it turned out to be a real war against myself. No negativity allowed inside. There’s enough outside (linked to inside, as we are a whole) and I’m not the only one to create it!

Yup, this is a mea culpa. I can be negative. What people don’t get is that there has to be a positivity-negativity ratio of 3-1. Google ” Barbara Fredrickson” and you will dig what I mean.

This is all due to chemical imbalance due to way too many years ( 13 ) being fed with improper medication. I’m in total disability regarding work, and I need to fix that shit for I’m running out of gas (money) and cannot refill. Thank whoever I believe in, I’m tough.

All of this happens after tons of applications for rad jobs at Apple. It kinda makes me laugh to read that Apple is an Equal Opportunity Employer. They dismiss weakened applicants! They don’t practice what they preach. They (quite) never did. They have no clue what they miss by only keeping resumes containing a bunch a buzzword bingo bullshit!

However, I’m glad the company is going well even without Steve (as I need their damn products to do what matters to me. I’m an iOS programmer, dangit). I’m somehow pissed and disappointed at how they handle “resume overload”. They should address the issue like Google did. A simple “No more resumes, please. We can’t process 20 million applications a year.” What does it cost?

Can’t Apple also just damn update their job offerings, too? 99 % of them are outdated. I hate writing what I write now, but it’s part of my life!

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